Echo Chamber

“But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. ” - WB Yeats

For years, I had this in the rotation of my personal email signatures. It’s a snippet that has helped me work around my fairly substantial walls that keep my soul safe.

I struggle with letting people in. I struggle with expressing myself. I struggle to take the first step because I fear how my words will be received. I struggle to find the faith that people are being honest with me.

I see the above in my minds eye all the time. Egging me on to try..to have a little faith..to learn to let go of my fears and express myself. To take a leap of faith and trust the people I let in to not hurt me.. I can’t control what others do.. But I can’t be paralyzed by the fear of rejection. The fear of losing a friend. I can’t let fear control me.

So..faith it is. Faith that my trust isn’t misplaced. Trust that the few I let in are going to take care of my words.. My love.

• if i’m going to go grab lunch.. i should probably leave my house and not start a bulleted list
• i think i’m getting out of the advice business. you need to walk in someones shoes to know how they’re thinking, right? I’ve never walked in anyone’s shoes. I have no idea what any of you are going through. I’ve lived a cold, closed off life and have happily walked away from every relationship I’ve ever had. How’s that for perspective on relationships? Adversity? That’s all self-created chaos in my life. Not much there either.
• It’s been a long week and a half.. i’m looking forward to getting on a plane Thursday morning. A few more days of meetings and then I get to meet the internet again. I’m mostly looking forward to that.
• if i was smart.. i’d delete this list.. start over.. or not start at all.
• apparently, i’m not very smart…<publish> 

I don’t think my original tt list will ever see the light of day.

That’s all I’ve got.

Carry on. Be well.

” I saw the moon when we were out there in the ocean, shining down on everything. I’ve been miserable so long, years of my life wasted, afraid. Been a long time coming here to meet you - a long time, on a crooked road. Did I ever tell you? The first time I saw you, felt like I’d seen you before.” - joe banks.